The man i hated

I saw him again looking unable

As sadness drowns his face

Locked with tears upon his emotion

Slowly darkens his grace

I shoved him away as hard as i can

No matter what i do he won’t run

He was there standing still

Like an empty soul who lost its will

He’s always there staring at me

Those eyes that longs to be free

But i can’t help him

And he already knows that it seem

I have no choice but to run

Anywhere away from that man

And he was gone all of a sudden

Relief as though problems forgotten

As i hear a voice deep inside me

“Failure, stupid and unworthy”

As it grows louder and louder

Like a parasite within me it tether

I stood up and lean on a mirror

As i saw his reflection with horror

“I am you, i am you”, he stated

He was me, the man i hated

Let go

As green grass turns to wither

As love lost its tether

Though it shouldn’t be so

Because you let it go

We had our chance

We made a stance

I loved you so

But you let it go

I kept holding on still

I saw our love real

It wasn’t enough to show

Because you let it go

I would embrace the pain

I would shout your name

Because I loved you so

But my love, why’d you let go?

A heart that longs

“Kyle! Kyle! Kyle, wake up! Wake up honey you’re gonna be late for work! It’s almost 7am honey, come now” mom shouted as she awakened me with her voice.

Mom? Why are you in my apartment this early? And I told my boss that I’m gonna be absent today because I want to surprise her.

“Oh, Kyle dear, you don’t need to. I already told….”

Mom! Please. I promised her and a man must live to honor his word. Just let me do this okay ?

“okay honey, and by the way your sister is on the kitchen, might want to bring her with you In case you might need someone”

Okay mom, I’m gonna take a shower first.

“I’m still shocked why they are here in my apartment. Still, that won’t stop me from surprising her. It’s her birthday after all. I wonder what she would prefer this time, hmmm? Probably a chocolate coated with cream and strawberry toppings with candy flowers on the side, just like what she always wants.” I murmured in my head as I grab the towel and went to take a shower. As I turned the heater on and the water began to drop on my head I began to remember our memories together. Reminiscing all the things we do and all the little things we argue about. This is her 23rd birthday and it must be special for her and for me knowing it would be our 4th year anniversary. I could still remember how much I stuttered telling her how I felt. Fun times huh?

“I should get dressed don’t want to keep my little sister waiting.” I murmured to myself.

I went straight down and stumbled upon the stairs making me fall over. It was painful really.

“Kizzy! Are you okay?” my little sister run towards me with a worried face. I don’t know why she calls me Kizzy though.

Yes baby I’m okay. We should probably go now, don’t want to keep Jade waiting.

“Yehey! We’re gonna surpise Jady!” She shouted in excitement. And I don’t know why she calls my girlfriend Jady too.

“ Be back before dark okay? I love you both.” Mom shouted

Yes mom, I love you too.

We started walking to the bakery and bought the cake she wanted. Specially made because the baker knew me already. I mean, I came here every year for her birthday, so… yeah.

We went to the flower shop next and bought a bouquet of white chrysanthemum and pink roses.

I think we’re done. Should we surprise her now? I told my little sis.

“Let’s go, Kizzy!” she applaud

I began to stop walking as tear fell down from my eye.

“Are you okay, Kizzy?”

Yes, baby. Lets go.

We headed straight to the memorial park and I slowly began to shed my tears as we go nearer and nearer to her tomb. It’s been 6 months since she died and even today it pains me to know she’s gone.

Happy birthday Jade… my love. I brought you this cake that you always loved and you won’t even share it with me every time I bought you one. Its chocolate coated with cream and strawberry toppings with candy flowers on the side. I even brought you your 2 favorite flowers, I mean you always loved its features right?

Say Happy birthday to Jade baby

“Happy birthday Jady. Kizzy said you’re in a good place now. When will you come back? Kizzy is always sad without you.”

I can’t stop my tears from falling. It’s your birthday but I can’t stop crying. I missed you Jade. I missed you so much.

Irony

Love but left unfelt

Seen but gets ignored

Happy but dead inside

Peace but still provoked

Honest but doubted

Integrity but tempted

Honored but forgotten

Alive but broken

Strong but shattered

Innocent but questioned

Free but chained

Leader but unheard

Friends but betrayed

Partners but cheated

Survived but devastated

Hope but destroyed

Unfathomable is the opposite

Unspeakable is the truth

Uncontrollable is reality

Unstoppable is fate

Behind the Innocence

What will I do? What should I do?

I can’t, no, I can’t jeopardize nor blew

I am in the verge of life and death

I can’t even hold my breath

She is but a little child

Soft innocent and mild

Devoured by false ideology

Consumed by selfish insensibility

The child or my team

As the bomb she’s holding it seems

Spare the child and let my friends die

Why little child? Just why?

I am drowning by my own sweat I can’t hinder

As my hands shake while holding the trigger

But she will kill them and they are unaware

This isn’t what I signed for, this isn’t fair

As I painfully look away

While pulling the trigger I stay

And there she is my sweet child

Lying on the ground dead and mild.

Deus Vult

As the raging arrows storm the land

Here comes the march of the thousand

As the battle cry waves the flag of cross

As the catapults have its toss

Comes the march of the thousand

As the ringing bell of the sacrament

Life flows like a regiment

As the crowd fights to death

Here comes the march of the thousand

For the glory of God shall they kill

For the glory of God shall they steal

For the glory of God shall they conquer

For the glory of God shall they power

For here comes the march of the thousand

As they baptize the walls with blood

As they siege the halls with mud

As the hearers tremble before them

Here comes the march of the thousand

As the pope reclaims the holy land

As his soldiers die by his hand

As he reason to them what is death

Comes the march of the thousand

So shall the enemy meets fear

So shall they hear

So shall they know Gods wrath

So shall they suffer warpath

Now comes the march of the thousand

Then comes a halt

As the thousand shouts Deus vult

The Guy on the Chair

“Granpa! Granpa! Im so tired of walking can we sit down a bit?”
Sure son. Ahh this chair is still standing after all these years.
“Granpa can you tell me a story?”
A story ey? Do you know that this chair has seen so much?
“no, what do you mean granpa?”
This chair has seen love, the beauty of it and pain as well.
“I want to see love too granpa.”
Hahahaha It can’t be seen son, it can only be felt.
There’s a guy that named Kris. Kris loves to walk around the city wanting to see the beauty of it. After work he goes to any part of the city he wants and go back here, in this very chair. He loves to observe the people walking and not just that but because of a specific reason, a girl. Let’s call her Jenny.
Now Jenny is a lovely girl and she’s born in this city too.
“Is she beautiful like mommy?”
Of course she is. She is beautiful as a blooming flower. Kris loves to sit on this chair just to have a glimpse of her every time she walked passed by him. Every day of every week Kris spends his afternoon waiting for Jenny to walk pass him.
“Why won’t he talk to her granpa?”
Kris is actually a shy guy. Every time he wakes up he feels empty inside and looking at Jenny for just a few seconds changes his mood. She fills his emptiness even though they don’t know each other. But destiny is a funny thing in this world sometimes. One day while Jenny was walking she hit a small gap between the road and spilled her drink on Kris’s shirt. Immediately she took her handkerchief and gave it to him and asked to treat him lunch in order to repay the damage she’s done.
Kris on the other hand was trying to hide his tension towards the moment and nervously agreed to her offer. They spent lunch together and had a decent conversation. They agreed on many things and both had a lovely time. After that they bid each other farewell. Kris was so happy that he barely slept during the night thinking about his moment with Jenny. What a day it is for Kris. After his noon break Kris immediately went to the chair and waited for Jenny to pass by. A few moments after he saw Jenny walking asked her if he could treat her lunch just for compensation the other day and she agreed. Again they had a wonderful time. Jenny felt comfortable with Kris and every day they ate lunch together. After a few months of being friends she fell in love with him and they became an official couple. Even with them being together for months, Kris is so persistent with Jenny that everyday seems like a day they just met. He loves Jenny so much that he continues courting her every day.
They got married after a few years. Jenny became pregnant. Kris always brings her to this chair and they sat with each other looking at the people walking pass by them. They just sit there silently while they hold hands. One-night Jenny woke up in pain with blood flowing down on her body. They went to the hospital and Jenny labored for hours.
Jenny died during childbirth but the baby is okay, a baby girl. Kris was so devastated but every time he looks at his daughter all his pain suddenly goes away. Kris always brings his daughter to sit beside him on this chair trying to remember what was once before.
“I am sad for Kris granpa.”
Indeed son, but he is okay now for he have an angel watching him. Come now we should go home, your mother must be worried.
“okay granpa”
“Excuse me Mr. Kristofer, you dropped your ID”
Thank you boy.
“Was this you and your wife in the picture sir? She is beautiful. What’s her name?”
Jennylyn. Her name is Jennylyn.

Mister

Mister was hopeless in the eye of you
Shivering stunned his point of view
As darling be on his passing grave
Holds his hand on his lonely pave

A sudden burst of joyful light
Beguiling words of wondrous sight
And so they dance below the moonlight
And so they love within a candlelight

But when everything seems to be just
When everything is all just love
All left to fade as darkness gust
Poor old mister left alone to rust

Sitting on his pave waiting for love
Trying to feel what once above
As time goes by so does Mister
Sad and longing, slowly fades to blister

As he say goodbye to once had love
Broken and in pain to whats left to have
Poor old mister poor old mister
As he say these words tether

For a glimpse of you again I’d give
For the dance you owe me i believe
For the love we lost i mourn
For the broken heart left unborn.

Lakad

Ako ay maglalakad papunta sayo
Sa lupa na aking pininturahan
Sa tali nang ating kapalaran
Ako ay maglalakad papunta sayo
Mahal hawakan mo ang aking kamay
Mahal dinggin mo ang salita kong tunay
Ako ay maglalakad papunta sayo
Tignan mo ang ilaw ng aking puso
Sapagkat pangalan mo’y naka dikit sa aking dugo
Ako ay maglalakad papunta sayo
Sa tanawin ng iyong mga ngiti
Sa humahalimuyak mong mga labi
Mahal ko maglakad tayo
Lakarin natin ang paraiso
Sugurin natin ang mundong bumabagyo
Sa kidlat ng ating pagmamahalan
Mahal ko halika at maglakad tayo
Sa bundok ng ating mumunting isipan
Tignan ang salamin ng ating kaalaman
Mahal ko maglakad tayo
At yakapin mo ako
Nang ikay aking maprotektahan
Sa lahat ng masamang elemento
Mahal ko maglakad tayo
At hahawakan ko ang iyong mga kamay
Habang nakatingin sa kalawakan
At sa bituin ay aking isisigaw
Mahal ko, mahal ko.

The Monster

There is a monster I tell you now
He keeps on scaring me somehow
I hid behind the blanket in my room
Just waiting for my very own doom

I asked for help but no one can hear
All they say its just my fear
But i know what i sense and feel
Something who craves and wants to kill

I took a knife and taunted it out
Even though i was consumed by doubt
It swings its claws slicing me bleed
Succumbed by rage and blood of greed

No one heard my helping cry
Does no one care if i die?
I’m on my own i always am
Left to die, I’ll be damned

The helpless cry of my lullaby
As the monster in front he lie
With a knife on my hands I shiver
For i will survive not in this endeavor

But when I looked into its eyes
I saw the pain and all the cries
I felt myself in lonesome breed
The life of none a helpless seed

There is a monster i tell you now
I am not scared somehow
Because the monster that I see
Is all but a reflection of me.